adjustment disorder

So....yesterday was not the best day for me. I swear i experienced every emotion!

Along with my bipolar disorder(and many other mental illness i have) another thing i struggle with is adjustment disorder. This really sucks.

An adjustment disorder (AD) occurs when an individual is unable to adjust to or cope with a particular stressor, like a major life event. Since people with this disorder normally have symptoms that depressed people do, such as general loss of interest, feelings of hopelessness and crying, this disorder is sometimes known as situational depression. Unlike major depression the disorder is caused by an outside stressor and generally resolves once the individual is able to adapt to the situation.

Some emotional signs of adjustment disorder are

·Sadness
·Hopelessness
·Lack of enjoyment
·Crying spells
·Nervousness
·Anxiety
·Worry
·Desperation
·Trouble sleeping
·Difficulty concentrating
·Feeling overwhelmed
·thoughts of suicide

Some behavioral signs of AD are

·Fighting
·Reckless driving
·Ignoring important tasks such as bills or homework
·Seeking approval from others by any way possible (cheating/lying/escaping reality)
·Avoiding family or friends
·Performing poorly in school/wk
·Skipping school/wk
·Vandalizing property

When my Dr explained this sickness too me, she said that my body adapts to change, but....it is harder and takes longer for my brain too adjust to change.....which brings me too my day yesterday.

Y'all know my daughter and her son came to visit last month. Well, due too some circumstances....we have decided that her and Karsyn would be moving back in with us. Yay!! Yes.....I'm super excited! I'll get to be with my daughter and grandson all the time!! Anyhow, this move is a great thing! I know this is what my daughter needs so she can start building a life with her son.

The thing i hate most about AD it's how it effects others around you. We live in a small 2 bedroom house with 3 people and 2 dogs(plus a foster/stray) and now I'm having to accommodate for another adult and a toddler. I really don't mind it!! Really!!

Anyhow, yesterday i was cleaning out my son's room, making room to add my daughter's bed and stuff,and it was totally overwhelming!! I swear i cried, screamed, yelled, threw stuff.....bad day all together😣 the worse thing about it is.....i can't control all these emotions and it completely drains me when i have one of those days. On top of that, my daughter made a few comments like she felt like she was taking her brothers room from him(not true....her brother totally understands)  and also she said she felt as though she is imposing.(also not true, d and myself really enjoy having them here)

It really hurts my heart to know my daughter feels like this and i know it's because of my actions😞 but, these are things i can't control.

I feel like I'm really just writing this blog for those of you who have loved ones suffering from this. I'm trying to show you that when things like this happen, it's not us being mad at anyone....it's not us not liking the situation.....it's just us,  and how we cope with change and adjust.  So please, never....NEVER take anything you hear or see to heart....please. it's so hard to have someone who completely understand us and our disorder. D has been with me for 12 years and i still don't even think he truly understands my disabilities or completely gets it. I pray this blog helps my loved ones(and others dealing with this) understand mine(or anyone else's) behavior just a little better.

If you wanna read more about adjustment disorder go here. I really do believe the first step to helping someone is learning and understanding things about their disability.

And with me, when i get this way....it's so frustrating to not be able to control all these emotions, which makes me frustrated and heightens my anxiety. Who else had AD?? What helps y'all cope with change?

And to my daughter who might read this.....i love you! I'm very glad your here....I'm thankful for you....you have always supported me and have always helped me when it comes to my disabilities. Thank you for being understanding most of the time😝 lol

Muahs!

fitness Friday!!

hey yall!! hope your Thanksgiving was perfect! lol

today is fitness Friday. man, if i was to take measurements today I'd prob cry!! so, no measurements, but, i will tell you what my biggest hurdle has been since getting ready to tackle this fitness thing again.

food:
i HATE food!! i hate to eat. i don't know why but i do. I'm like completely opposite of people with weight issues. i don't over eat, in fact...... my hurdle has always been getting enough calories in a day. my body goes into starvation mode, so, anything i do eat, my body wants to hold on to all the fats and sugars because it"doesn't know" when I'll eat again.
this week I've been trying to eat at least three times a day. my goal is to eat 6 small meals, but I'm honestly lucky to eat 2.

I've also tried cutting out bad sugars this week.(haha) i have to make little small changes at a time.

that is my tip for you today. if your starting a fitness program.... take your time. each week add a little more activity or a little less bad calories. getting into shape isn't easy...
it's NOT gonna happen over night...
it's more then a diet, it's a lifestyle change!

if your problem is soft drinks.... cut back the first week.
i find it easier to make one small change each week. that way you don't get overwhelmed and give up early.

if you fall, it's ok! start over. NEVER give up! you CAN do it!! and so can i! i have faith in us!

so, until my next post, here are my fav pics from Thanksgiving...

this last one is my dad, me, step mom, and my step bros! yes, I'm the only girl lol!

how's your lifestyle change going?
muahs

wow, so glad things are better for me

happy Sunday y'all!! i was going through my old blog and i found this post from Sept 12, 2008
Have u ever......just sat around and wonder what the real purpose in life was? Ugh! I do all of the time and it drives me bananas. I wonder why I chose this life. I mean, other then my children, what am I here for. What am I to do? I am doing the best that I can to raise my children right. To give them the values to have a happy life. It bothers me though for I am not happy. How can I raise my children to be vibrant caring fun loving adults when it is hard for me to do the same? I want what is best for my children and yes, it may sound a little selfish when I speak about my happiness, how I want what is best for me. Was I put here to make a difference in the world? Am I to make some HUGE change in the world? Right now, day in and day out I do nothing but the same. Everyday. I awake every morning, get my son ready for school. We watch cartoons until about 10 mins b4 his bus, then I have to read him the school menu for the day. I put him on the bus with a hug and a kiss, then watch him ride away. that's when my BORING life really begins. I get a cup of coffee, check my email(which never has anything good), check my myspace and myyearbook. Most of the time there is nothing there so....yay me!! I then get up and do laundry and clean the house. same routine everyday. The only thing that changes is the fact that my friend candi may come by. That at least gives me someone to talk to. then I am here....kota gets home from school, we do homework, he plays while I watch some TV. Then I cook dinner, go for my run. When I get back I give kota his bath and tuck him in. And then about 1 hr later....I am also in the bed!!!!!!this is my life EVERYDAY!! I am on the prowl to find change. Something to get me out of this stupid rut that I call life!!!!!!!
With Thanksgiving around the corner i just want to say how thankful i am that I'm not in this dark place no more!
life has so much more meaning now.


•my kids are growing into happy vibrant adults


•i have friends i see on a regular basis


• yes, i do laundry and everyday household chores, but, i enjoy it


• I'm cherishing the time with my grandson


• going to church


• scripture study and prayer daily

i guess my point to this is:
no matter where you are in life, what your going through..... it does get better. this post was from 6 years ago and looking back, i never knew how dark i felt my life was. reading some of this older stuff is shocking to me. i can't believe that suicide was ever an option for me, but it was.
never give up! i know it's so hard, i have been there. but, please.... reach out, get help if needed, and talk!! there are people out there just like you and there are people who have been where you are. never be afraid to reach out and talk to someone.
NEVER GIVE UP!
MUAHS

and no matter what, smile!

i think someone is ready for pull ups

Potty training can be such a headache!! Trust me, I know!! I've worked with 2yr olds for 15yrs! But, the rewards are nice!!
Mainly the $$ you save!

One thing I have learned is NOT to rush it!! If your child isn't ready, it's not gonna happen.... Just saying! All it will do is cause frustration for you and your child.

A few signs to know your child is ready

•dry diaper

If your child is going hours without wetting/waking up dry in the mornings and or at naps

• vocal

If your child can tell you peepee or poop that's always a good sign too.

•actions

Is your child somehow showing you?? Watch for little hints.

Now, let me give your a prime example:
"today while I was in the kitchen washing dishes, my grandson came running to me with his pants around his ankles. I wasn't paying him too much attention.... Thought he was playing around. Well, he finally gets his pants off. I asked him what he was doing and he began hitting his diaper saying "pee pee pee" he ran to the bathroom door and stayed knocking on it!"

Yaaaassssssss! If that wasn't a sign....i don't know what is!?

"we took him into the bathroom and put him on the potty. He didn't do anything but, he got all smiles and high fives for trying! We took him off, got a fresh diaper on him and 5 mins later..... He poo'ed!"

Yea, yea, I know.... Total fail! Right? No, not really. He is one step closer then before!

There are ways to help your child get ready for potty training.
Take your child with you when you potty. While your in the bathroom... Talk to them. Tell them what things are. Introduce them to sounds that may scare them.

Get them their own toilet or seat for the big toilet. Sometimes kids freak out a little cause they think they will fall into the toilet.

Put them on their toilet as soon as they wake up, and every few hours.

Remember to be consistent! If you don't stick with it, your child won't either.

*please note*

While my youngest son was potty training, about ten years ago, he needed to go potty while we were at WalMart.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS!!!!
My son was terrified to go any where near a toilet after that!
Any place that has a motion thingie to flush isn't good! One little move and it sounds like a huge monster is gonna suck you in! I mean, they terrify me and I'm 36 yrs old!!

Do y'all have any potty training tips? Things to avoid? How did your lil ones let you know they were ready?
Muahs

my blog triggered me???

Wow, never thought my blog could be a trigger. This sucks, I'm really feeling it....100!!
I just tried to write a blog about my mom and my childhood. I can honestly say I HATE reliving my childhood 😒 anyhow, I wrote for about an hour and then my phone died! What? Really?? So, my day has been just bad so far. I've been easily annoyed by little things,I got manic as heck.... Lets just say, I cleaned my whole house top to bottom in less then an hr. I'm just now sitting down and trying to compose myself.
I promise I'll redo that blog about why I am the way I am soon. Just, not at this time, please bear with me.......
I don't take meds, so, I cope the best I can on my own....
And please don't judge me. I hate living like a zombie and when I was on my meds...i gained so much weight and it wasn't healthy.
So, until later
Muahs!

aggervated, lol

good morning y'all! I just wanted to write a fast lil line. I promise, I am not neglecting my blog, cause, I've tried to make 15 post since Sunday evening 😒 I'm very annoyed at my app at the moment. So, I finally had to come through my web on my phone.
at least this doesn't crash 💥 after I blog for 20 mins!! I'd use it more, but, unfortunately I can't upload pics.....
so, please be patient 😁
muahs👄