feeling some type of way.........(religion)

Howdy!!!!  This blog is just my opinions and how I feel.  Please, no bashing, but please share thoughts in appropriate ways.  Like adults please!!  I wouldn't bash any of y'all and I really hope to get the same respect.  But, I need some help.........

I am Mormon, or LDS......and something happened the other day that just has really hurt my heart and has really made me feel some type of way!!!!  I really need some advice......I need to know if it's normal to feel how I am feeling or is it just my mental illness causing me to just over analyze this issue.

You see..... I LOVE my faith, I love everything about it! But sometimes I don't get the people of the Church.  I am a convert to the Church(2007) and I do most of my studying on my own.  I feel like if I learn about it on my own and pray about it, I am closer to my Heavenly Father and I tend to comprehend things better.  So, that's just how I do things.....that's how I roll...lol  I do LOVE going to Sacrament and to my classes as well, but sometimes it just feels awkward.  I am NOT perfect, and I know this!!  I also know that not everyone in our Church is as perfect as they front either, or can u say "fake" in today's terminology.

In my situation.......I know I probably will never go to the Temple, and sometimes at Church I really feel like people always judge me.  And that sucks!! Its very hard to attend Church after your heart gets hurt by the ones you trust within the Church.  A couple of years ago some things went down and I'm not going into all that in this blog(maybe at a later time), But, I became inactive.  Once you become inactive...it really is hard to get back into going....u know??  Its a BIG step to do it!!  Well, I missed Church, honest!!! So, back before I started my blog I began going back.  I was doing good too!!  I was participating in activities not just on Sunday.  And I really feel so good in my heart when I am in Church and I also know I shouldn't NOT go because of others but with my mental illness it just seems harder on me.  I do suffer from bipolar, social anxiety, adjustment disorder along with anxiety and many other things.  I did really good for about a month until my daughter moved in with my grandson and I had to adjust to all of the changes I was dealing with, so, guess what.....I withdrew from things. (that's just how I cope)  Church was one of them.

Before all of this happened I was taking a financial class(which I LOVED and my teacher as well).  And I specifically asked who my Home visiting teacher was because I have NEVER had one come or contact me the whole time I have been in my ward!!!!!!!! which is about 6 years now.  I know who my VT is, and I love her with all my heart, but, after the last time she came by(about 4 months ago) I haven't heard from her.  No phone call.....no email......no Facebook message......nothing???  And usually the missionaries come by and see how inactive members are and try to get them back into Church, yea.....its been a while on that too. 

 But last week I got a phone call.  Yes, it was someone from the Church, but they were calling to make sure I knew it was my Saturday to come in and clean the building.  I didn't have a ride and I'll be darned if someone (who I don't know) called me to let me know they would pick me up and everything!!!!!  And I really was going to do it but my carpel tunnel is really bad right now and I am in a splint until I can line up my surgery with an orthopedic.

OK, here is my thing.....and I really could use some feedback PLEASE.......Am I normal for feeling some type of way???  Is it normal that it breaks my heart that I "thought" I had real friends that cared about me????  If the Church really cared, why haven't they reached out to me other then to let me know its my turn to do something for them???? Am I wrong????  Is it just the adversary???  or my mental illness???

To those of you who are members, can you do me a favor???  Reach out to your converts!!  It is really hard to live this lifestyle without a support system!!!  If you have inactive members, call them!! send them a text!!! See how they are doing!!!!!  And people!!!! If you have a calling, such as VT or a Home teacher, do your callings!!! Aren't y'all supposed to be NOT making members feel like me??  How does the Church expect to get members and keep members if they act like they care in Church but outside of Church its like you don't even exist!!  That's really a good way to push people away from the Church!!! I promise ya!!!!!  I talk about going to Church every week!!!  And I still don't go because I feel like I am not even wanted there in the first place!

I am not trying to put my Church down, 

I am not trying to disrespect the Church.

I love my religion and all it stands for

It has made me a better person even if I am not perfect and I know my Heavenly Father still loves me no matter what!

I just wish some of these "members" would take a step back and look at themselves before judging others!!! As members of the Church we should be building each other up, not breaking each other down!!!!

I am sorry for the rant but It is really on my heart to seek advice and figure out what I need to do.  If your reading this, I am grateful for any help or suggestions.  I've been praying and my heart has really been hurting over this and I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance for any advice!!  And if you dont wanna comment......send me a quick little message there on the right side!!

Muahs & #stayblesse

Attitude of Gratitude

Today is #ThankfulThursday!!!!  Woot woot!! I know usually just jump into all the things I am thankful for!!!  But, lets change it up a  min.  I wanna share with you a little from the talk "Grateful in Any Circumstances" by: President Dieter F. Uchtdorf Second Counselor in the First Presidency April 2014:

"But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”

Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. True, it is important to frequently “count our blessings”—and anyone who has tried this knows there are many—but I don’t believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease. In fact, most of the scriptural references do not speak of gratitude for things but rather suggest an overall spirit or attitude of gratitude.

It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be."

(continue reading this talk here)

I am Thankful for so much!! I really am!!!  You know, I really don't have a lot! Or people may look at me and wonder what I have to be thankful for.  I have a car, but that car has not ran in 2 years now.....lol.  So, I do a ton of walking!  But that's OK with me!!  It sucks, yes.....but, it is better for my health and I am actually saving money on insurance and gas!!  I don't have a HUGE house like I see all my classmates have.  You know, new everything!!  I am not envy, I am happy to see people succeeding!! Do I wish I had a nice, new, big house??  Well, of course!!  I am human!!  But I am thankful for my little, basic, four room house!!  It is a roof over my head!!  Do I get annoyed that I feel like I am cleaning up after a 2 year old 24/7......yes, but, I am thankful that my grandson is here.  Do I feel like I am ALAWAYS going through something???  And that I am stressed all the time!?  Yes!  But I am thankful for these hard times, because of them.....I have a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father!!!!

I am trying to approach things in life now with that attitude of gratitude, not just being thankful.  I wanna teach my kids and my grandson now to approach life like this as well!!  And this isn't just a "Mormon" thing y'all!!!

I was just reading an article from the Wall Street Journal online.  Its by Diana Kapp from December 2013.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Raising Children With an Attitude of Gratitude

Research Finds Real Benefits for Kids Who Say 'Thank You'

Continue reading the full artilcle here

In this article they did some research on kids in middle and in high school......

"The mere act of giving thanks has tangible benefits, research suggests. A 2008 study of 221 kids published in the Journal of School Psychology analyzed sixth- and seventh-graders assigned to list five things they were grateful for every day for two weeks. It found they had a better outlook on school and greater life satisfaction three weeks later, compared with kids assigned to list five hassles.

Another study examined 1,035 high-school students outside New York City. The study, published in 2010 in the Journal of Happiness Studies, found that those who showed high levels of gratitude, for instance thankfulness for the beauty of nature and strong appreciation of other people, reported having stronger GPAs, less depression and envy and a more positive outlook than less grateful teens."

Also in this article it states how we can do things to help teach our kids to be grateful.  I remember as a girl growing up. my step mom would have dinner on the table at 5pm......everyday.  And everyday we would be at the table, but we would not touch the food until my dad was at the table.  After we were done with dinner, each one of us kids(5) would thank my mom for dinner before getting up.  We were grateful that my mom made sure we had dinner every night. never missing a beat.  I really think things have become so convenient that we forget to be thankful. Or, not forget, but maybe not recognize it as much??  I mean, to buy anything now days all you have to do is click a button on our computers or smartphone and within a few days its at our door!!  Right??

I guess my point in this blog is to challenge you to have an attitude of gratitude.  We should practice this every single day!! Not just "thanksgiving" or #ThankfulThursday....  Lets raise our kids to be less stressed. less depressed, Happy adults!!  

Before I wrap this up, I wanna say........

"I am thankful for this life here on Earth!  I am thankful for my earthly family! I am thankful That I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and supplies me with the strength I need  to make it through hard times and I am thankful for our Church Leaders who Give these talks and are here to help Counsel us! I am thankful that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father!  I am thankful for all my readers and I am thankful that I have a place were I can write about anything and express how I feel!!!  I am also thankful for my parents who have taught me to be thankful for everything!!

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ

Amen"

I hope y'all didn't mind me getting off of beauty for a min!!!  Now  I'm fixing to curl up on this rainy Sunday here in Ga!!  Have a great #sundayfunday and stay #blessed!

Muahs!!

maybe? just sometimes......

Good morning y'all!  I just wanted to let u know that I have a blog I am working on for #thankfulthursday, I am so sorry it hasn't been published yet, but, it's from the heart and I want to make sure it's completely done before I publish.  I don't do a ton of "spiritual" or "religious" post.....I know it is a touchy subject, but......sometimes, its what I need at the moment.  Ya know??  sometimes its just a good way for me to reflect and a good way for my relationship to grow between me and Heavenly Father.  BUT I also know the Spirit works through us in ways that it does help others while it's helping us!!  lol  Funny how everything has a purpose......wouldn't you say!!!??  It is a cold dreary day here in Ga and I am not sure if Ill have anything to do for a #subscriptionboxsaturday (unless my jamberrys come today, fingers crossed!) But, how about a #spiritualsaturday?

*disclaimer*  Anything I post religious, Please.......I don't claim I know everything, nor am I a scholar in any way.  I am not a preacher and I am not trying to convert u into my religion (unless u feel in ur heart that u want to learn more) wink wink.

I just wanna share some of the things I feel and go through as an individual, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, friend in my everyday life experiences and/or challenges.  Or to maybe look deeper into the mind of someone who deals with multiple mental illnesses on a daily basis?  Dont get me wrong!  This will NOT be my everyday posts!  Ill continue with my usual subscription boxes, beauty, deals, and my adorable grandson......but, once in awhile, maybe this??

Anyhoo, comment......let me know what y'all think!!  Are y'all even interested in it??  I love y'all!!  I'll have a finished post soon! Stay warm and stay blessed!!!!!

my cozy lil set up for my Saturday

Muahs!!!

I don't get it.........so much hatred????

*disclaimer* this is ,y personal opinion and thoughts! please, DO NOT judge others due to what I think!!!!!

I really just wanna blog my thoughts right now.....at this moment.  Sorry y'all, no beauty tips.....or unboxing right now. just me thinking and feeling like writing.

So, I wrote a blog earlier about going through hard times.....you know. how the adversary will mess with you and Heavenly Father will take care of you, you know......nothing to serious.  Well, I got a tweet from someone that was slightly rude.

I am Mormon(EEEEEKKKKKKK!!!  OH NO), I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints.  I am very proud of that!  I am proud of my religion and my beliefs! It really breaks my heart just how rude some people can be!!!!  I guess my thing is this, if you don't like what we believe, or don't believe what we believe, that's just fine and dandy!!!That is your right!! We have a thing called freedom of religion!!   So, you don't have to be ugly or rude about it.  I have plenty of friends that are baptist, Pentecostal, non believers, even Jehovah witnesses as friends!! And you know what we do????  We talk to each other!! I always share my beliefs..but...I would never try and make someone believe what I do.....Just share what I know. And pray for each of my friends.  I would NEVER tell someone they are going to hell for what they believe!!  (not my place)

Some people who are "Christians"  say some really hateful things.  I honestly don't believe that is how my savior acted while he was here on earth!!!  And I don't think it is any of our places to tell anyone they are going to hell!!! That is Heavenly Father's decision to make.  We do NOT know someones personal relationship with God!!  AND......people do sin, we ALL sin!!!! no one is perfect!  thankfully through the atonement I can be forgiven and so can u!!!

it is impossible to put into words the full meaning of the Atonement, which is the most important and most transcendent event in the history of the world. Through His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross, the Savior atoned for our sins. This is the good news for all people!
 to read more, go here


Don't most religions believe that Christ was sent here to die for our sins so we can be saved and have everlasting life!! (john 3:16) So, If I believe that as well as the baptist that lives across the street, what makes me bad?  Also, So many people bring up JS and polygamy......really y'all!!??  That was way back when!!  I don't have sister wives!!  Heck, I'm not even married!!  I also read last night that JS was a pedophile because he married 14 yr old girls!!  Come on y'all!!!  My grandparents were married that young!!  That's how things were back then!!  Just like my grandparents legit were married until death do they part!!  Not many people can say that now.  Divorce rate is at the highest!! Heck, people don't even take marriage so seriously anymore.  Times change......people change.  That doesn't mean every Mormon has multiple wives, we don't dance with snakes. I really think instead of all the hate and judgement, why not us all work together and reach out to people who have no idea who Christ or our Heavenly Father are! People who don't know the plan of salvation.....lets work together to bring people closer to Christ and our Heavenly Father!!  Not push people or scare people away!!  This world needs more love and humility, not hate and judgement!!  None of us are perfect and I know I will NEVER be!! BUT, I will strive to be the best person I can be!  And that includes loving everyone no matter their background, race, sexuality, or religion!!!

Religion and faith are things that people have to find, research, study, pray about on their own.  Its never forced on any of us.  Your gonna believe what you feel in your heart is right.

I'm really sorry y'all.  I guess I am a big hearted person who thinks all the hate should stop!! If you don't like our religion(or if you're prejudice to anything) .......then don't search up #Mormon.  I feel like that is what some people sit around and do!!  If your one of those people, I am sorry.  I may be Mormon, but, I am also a good hearted mom, daughter, and grandma who loves music, makeup, fashion, my family, my american bulldog. sometimes a cup of coffee( I am human), puts one heel on at a time, southern bell preachers daughter!!!!

so.......

Because in the end, what it all boils down to is respect!!!! If u want others to respect you you have to first give respect!!  Just something to think about!!!

Good Night!!!
Muahs!

service

Now, think about it. I'm a disabled mother to three kids. I hate to ask for help when I need it. Ya know? But, things always work out somehow. So, Monday.... After running around all day and paying bills I was drained!! !! So, when I got a text from a friend of mine asking if I could use the truck and help her move....i was like ugh! I'll do anything for my friends! But, we ask get tired. Ya know?? Well, I remembered something I read from www.mormon.org

Helping Others

"When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17




We Can All Help


Calling yourself a Christian brings with it the duty and the privilege of a lifetime of service.

Jesus Christ said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). This doesn't mean we have to die to show our love for our friends. We lay down our lives every time we put someone else's needs before our own. (And the "friends" mentioned in the scripture above can be understood to be everyone we meet, since Jesus also commanded us to "love one another.")

We lay down our lives through service. Church members have many opportunities to serve. We can do small acts of kindness for our neighbors, take part in community service, fulfill responsibilities within our local congregations or contribute to the Church's large-scale humanitarian efforts. These actions, whether great or small, let us feel the happiness of connecting with our brothers and sisters and remind us that God often allows us to be the answer to someone else’s prayers.

Every morning when I pray, I ask Heavenly Father to allow me to help bless someone somehow.... So, guess what?? Even though I was tired.... My prayers were answered so, I went and helped. I can honestly say I am glad I did. Not only was I able to help my friend in need.... We got to laugh and spend time together as well.

So, remember to help others when you can. I know that's what we are supposed to do and you will be blessed in the long run!
Muaha!👄

hi, I'm Melissa...... and......

But don't freak out!! I'm human, I make mistakes, I have issues, and I'm a convert. This is another reason I started my blog. I wanna be able to possibly help others who are going through things as converts. But first, let me tell you my story.....
I was pretty much raised Pentecostal. Since I was about 9 years old. My dad even became a pastor. Yea, yea...i know...... Preachers daughters are oh so bad!!! Oh, whatever!! People are so stereotypical😒 I bet you think just because I'm Mormon, I dance with snakes too.. Huh? Smh......(shhhh, I'm not supposed to tell people that) hahaha, sorry.......i have a strange sense of humor...i know!

This is me and my daddy when I was about 15. (I'm a daddy's girl frfr) anyhow, back to my story. Back in 2006 I really got to studying different religions. You know, searching..... Hoping to find out why I felt so incomplete. I've always been big on family history so, one night I dug really deep....i went to the lds church records. My grandfather and grandma had been baptized. And I got to thinking and remembering things from my childhood. (which is odd cause I have so many repressed memories from my childhood. But, I remember church. I remember basketball. I remembered singing about popcorn popping outside the window. I remember the trays with the cups of water. But, I still haven't put two and two together. But, I got curious. I ordered me a free book of Mormon.

get yours free here

I began researching, reading, praying, seeking out my answer. In 2007 I moved to Orem Utah and there I started going to my ward. I believe it was the Windsor ward. I went to sacrament and the adversary really began messing with me..... Telling me I didn't deserve to take sacrament. I wasn't a member. I smoked cigs.... It got so overwhelming I had to walk outside. At that moment the mission ward leader bro heaps came out and talked with me. It may sound crazy, but, that's the answer I needed to my prayers!! Obviously there was something about this church if the adversary wanted me out that bad! I agreed to take lessons from the missionaries, continued reading my BOM, and then in Aug.....i was baptized and confirmed the newest member of the Church of Jesus Christ and latter day saints! That was the best day!!
Since then I have been through so much(which I'll share in a later blog) and my testimony has grown. I'm not the one to force my faith on you. All my blogs won't be about my religion, so, continue to read, come back.... ECT! Lol I don't have to preach to anyone. I've learned the best way to be a missionary is to lead by example, so, that's what I'm doing.
I know that my Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us I know he has a plan for each of our lives I love my religion and I love who I've become because of it!
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ
amen