Beautiful Sabbath and me vs the adversary....

Good Morning my beautiful Internet friends! How are y'all doing??  I have been working on a couple of blogs and I will be publishing them soon!!  BUT right now I really wanna talk about the adversary and just how much he is working against me......AND how I am retaliating and fighting right back!!! (which, is  NOT easy!)

 I believe I have mentioned my goals recently......anyhow, I am due for my interview to get my patriarchal blessing this weds.......OH NO!!  I am gonna have to change! my son has a football game!! SEE???  that's the stuff I am talking about! Anyhoo,  I have been busting my behind to do what I am supposed to do so I know I am worthy of it!!  One of the main things is to attend Church like I am supposed to, and I have! Has it been easy??? Heck no! Not at all!!!  I am gonna give u an example of how the adversary is soooo working against me.

I went to the Dr on Tues of last week.  My health isn't the best right now(blog to come) and whenever I get into Church, and doing what I am supposed to do, It's like the adversary uses my bipolar and anxiety to work against me.  I have been stretched soooooo far in running errands and being responsible for having everyone to work, practice, Dr's, etc I just don't have time for myself!  My Dr told me to take 30 mins a day for me.  And that doesn't happen. 

I got up yesterday (Sunday) morning at 630am, and my anxiety kicked in  right off the bat!!!  I had to have my daughter to work at 830am which means that my grandson had to get up and get ready for Church with me since I watch him!  All I could think was, Church is the ONLY thing I have that's MINE!  That's the 3 hrs a week I get away and learn and draw closer to my Heavenly Father! (I mean, minus scripture study and daily prayer) But, you get what I am saying!? Right??? Well, I hate when the adversary gets in my head like that!!  And when I feel rushed, it kicks my anxiety through the roof!!  He was playing so hard against me that I even said, "screw it, I'm NOT going!"  BUT, I took a moment and prayed.  I prayed hard too.  I prayed for a calm to come over me, I prayed that Heavenly Father would strengthen me to continue to endure......  and it worked, I had a calm feeling come over me and I said I'm NOT gonna rush, So, I proceeded to get ready and get my grandson ready.   We were running late, but hey......we were getting there!! lol

he cleans up nicely!

OMGosh!! He really reminds me of my youngest when he was little!! Let me see if I can find a pic!! hold on........

This isn't the picture I wanted, I have one of My son in a tie too.  I believe my son was about 4 in his pic and my grandson is only 2.  They don't favor that much in these two, Ill try and find a better one later......Now, where was I? Oh yea, running late to get to Sacrament.........

I love this kid and it is amazing how just saying a prayer can make you feel so much better about life and what is going on at that moment.

my companion and myself

I realized I didn't have much gas :/ lol, Its ALWAYS something.  He really works hard!!!  We made it to Church and I have to tell u, this blows my mind!  My grandson NEVER sits still and during Sacrament he did so well!!  I was able to hear all the talks! I was beyond proud!!  He doesn't go to Church with me.  but, now that his mom is working weekends, I have him.  That's why I was sooo amazed at how well he did!!  

After Sacrament I took him to nursery.  For the simple fact that he doesn't go to daycare nor does he go Church, I thought I would stay with him for a while.  I mean, who wants to make Church a bad experience? I mean, MiMi throws me in this room with a few kids and a teacher and leaves me?  No, I want him to WANT to go to Church with me, I want him to WANT to see his new friends in nursery!!  He was playing, and once again.......he sat in a chair and listened to the teacher!!  I was shocked!!  It makes me wonder if that is the Spirit playing a part??  I wonder??  If anyone knows, or has an idea, let me know!!

Getting to church, notice the mismatched shoes?

see how well he was doing?

I was still in shock

he WAS doing GREAT

Notice the last caption??  WAS??!!  This is where I feel like the adversary started working overtime since I HAD made it to Church.  The Bishop comes to the nursery and ask all the parents to step out so he could speak to us, Yup, that's right......I was asked to leave the room for a min!!  AND HE LOST IT!!  I could hear him just screaming!!  And see? that's what I was trying to avoid.  I go back in the room and there he is, tears streaming down his face, snot and spit bubbles, just a mess!  And of course he didn't wanna leave me after that.  I decided to just take him to SS with me.  Give it a try? Right?  And guess what??  He sat in my lap, I was able to participate in discussion, once again......proud of him, UNTIL.....

"Pee?"  really? I looked down and asked him if he had to Pee and he replied with "Pee...." and then it happened.  Before I could get him up and to the bathroom he peed in my lap!!  He was wet, I was wet, and I had no clothes.  So, I guess I can give the adversary this point!  I just hope he realizes I am going to come back that much harder!!!

In Oct 1987, James E Faust did a talk called "The Great Imitator"  In this talk he said,

I think we will witness increasing evidence of Satan’s power as the kingdom of God grows stronger. I believe Satan’s ever-expanding efforts are some proof of the truthfulness of this work. In the future the opposition will be both more subtle and more open. It will be masked in greater sophistication and cunning, but it will also be more blatant. We will need greater spirituality to perceive all of the forms of evil and greater strength to resist it. But the disappointments and setbacks to the work of God will be temporary, for the work will go forward (see D&C 65:2).

I believe this with all my heart.  And I feel that since he knows I am aware that this is him, trying to keep me from doing what I am supposed to do, that he is throwing cheap shots! Things that physically are hindering me now!  

I guess my whole point of ALL this rambling is this.......

"Be aware.  Hold on to the Iron Rod.  Pray.  Go to Church.  Do FHE.  Pay your tithing.  Do all of the things you're commanded to do.  I know that it is hard! I really do! I go through these battles DAILY! I promise u!  I also know that sometimes we give in to the anger, or the anxiety.  We are only human and that is why we have forgiveness.  I  know our Heavenly Father loves us.  And he is  always with us. Even during the times we feel all alone,  I want u to know to keep your head up!!  Jeep pushing forward!!  NEVER give up! If you slip and fall.....get right back up.  Endure until the end.  And ALWAYS know that some of us are going through similar situations.  And that is why I do my blogs.  Someone, somewhere, may feel a little better knowing they aren't the only ones that have the adversary trying to knock them back.  If you fall into this category(which we all should) Just know I pray for you daily!  I know that we will be blessed for following his commandments.  And sometimes, you might need to be still for a min, and think of the situation.  Our Heavenly Father allows bad things to happen to us to help us gain our testimonies and sometimes to even teach us a lesson!!  Many people say "God will not put on you more then you can handle"  But, if your read in the bible where he speaks of this (I believe it is 1 Chor 10:13), he is talking about temptation.  I read a cool quote that I will close with.

It appears that God will give us more than we can handle so that we will give Him the handle to steer our lives! "

So, I pray this has helped someone, somehow.......or at least made u laugh about me getting peed on!!  I gotta get to sleep, Its 1am and I have to be up at 445!!  Night!

                                                        
Muahs! Stay Blessed!

 

If you're obidient, blessings will come.......

Wow!!  It has been a VERY long time!! and for that, I apologize.  I have been crazy lately!!  I was really busy with my Jamberry business(which, isn't doing grand)  Then.....my baby, yes, my baby boy has started playing football!!  I will do a whole blog on that later ;) That has had me running crazy!!!  And then, I have been finding my place back within the Church. 

I have done a few blogs on my faith and some of the things I go through.  And today, with it being fast Sunday, I wanted to share my testimony on obedience.

I have become real active again!! (YAY)  and I have finally "grown up" I guess is a way to put it.  You know, as a Mormon.......LDS.......we have a TON of rules.  We are counseled from early on about the things we should and shouldn't do.  But I want to let yall know, we hear of the things we should do, but, until we do them, will we ever know for ourselves the blessings our loving Heavenly Father has in store for us!!!

In May of 1833, Joseph Smith had a Revelation:

“Truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come. …

“The Spirit of truth is of God. …

“And no man receiveth a fullness unless he keepeth his commandments.

“He that keepeth [God’s] commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things.”

What an awesome promise!!!??  I met with my Bishop back in June.  Because I want my patriarchal blessing!!  For those of you who aren't members,  a patriarchal blessing is a blessing or ordinance given by a patriarch to a church member. Patriarchal blessings are modeled after the blessing given by Jacob to each of his sons prior to his death. They are gifts of knowledge and strength of one's coming challenges and blessings.

So, you see why I need one!? Right??  I am 37 yrs old and I NEED this direction in my life!!!  I really do!!  Anyhoo, my meeting went real well.  We discussed what I needed to do and things to work on for the next 3 months to have me ready. and here are the top things I needed to work on.

1.  Being active in Church- This is a HUGE step BUT, I am thankful I am active again!!  I have only missed a couple of Sundays since my meeting with Bishop due to sickness and transportation issues.  Being active in the Church is so important!!  Main reason is to take Sacrament. Sacrament is so important.  It is the time that we can pray and reflect on the week we have had, a time of repentance, a time to remember our covenants we made to our Heavenly Father!!  A time to work on ourselves and make us better for the upcoming week.

                                              

2.  tithing:

Tithing has always been a BIG problem for me.  I do not work.  so, when I get money, I pay my bills and try to hold the rest.  Never been well off financially.  I knew in my heart I was supposed to and I always heard you would be blessed.  I live by the scripture Phil 4:19

                  

But, did I really have all the faith I needed to KNOW my Heavenly Father will provide a way?  I always thought I did, until I buckled down and started paying my tithing!!!  Ways have been made for me and my family for things I wasn't sure how it would've been taken care of.  really.  Let me share my experience recently:

2 years and 2 months ago, my car died.  She has been sitting in my dads back yard since she quit.  I have yet to get her fixed nor have I honestly had the money to fix her.  My son's dad had a ford ranger that I could use.  But, a family of 5 never could ride at the same time.  A couple of weeks ago, the engine locked up which meant we had NO means of transportation!!  I freaked, yes.....I doubted.....yes....did I pray....yes... AND  2 days later, I am in my new(to me) SUV!!  I know have a vehicle that my whole family can fit in comfortably! In 2 days!!!!  Do u see where I am getting at?? How things will happen if you are obedient?? lol I've been paying my tithing and my Heavenly Father has been taking care of me and my family!! 

So, do u see where I am getting at yall??  We can get told of all the blessings that are waiting for us IF we follow his commandments.  But the key word there is IF!!!  U need to make it WHEN, cause blessings do come WHEN we follow his commandments!!

I know our Heavenly Father loves us and wants to take care of us.  He wants to bless us.  I know when we pay our tithing and follow the council of our Prophet and Church Leaders we will also be blessed.  I know that this is the restored Church.  I know Joseph Smith was our 1st Latter Day Prophet!

and I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen

 

feeling some type of way.........(religion)

Howdy!!!!  This blog is just my opinions and how I feel.  Please, no bashing, but please share thoughts in appropriate ways.  Like adults please!!  I wouldn't bash any of y'all and I really hope to get the same respect.  But, I need some help.........

I am Mormon, or LDS......and something happened the other day that just has really hurt my heart and has really made me feel some type of way!!!!  I really need some advice......I need to know if it's normal to feel how I am feeling or is it just my mental illness causing me to just over analyze this issue.

You see..... I LOVE my faith, I love everything about it! But sometimes I don't get the people of the Church.  I am a convert to the Church(2007) and I do most of my studying on my own.  I feel like if I learn about it on my own and pray about it, I am closer to my Heavenly Father and I tend to comprehend things better.  So, that's just how I do things.....that's how I roll...lol  I do LOVE going to Sacrament and to my classes as well, but sometimes it just feels awkward.  I am NOT perfect, and I know this!!  I also know that not everyone in our Church is as perfect as they front either, or can u say "fake" in today's terminology.

In my situation.......I know I probably will never go to the Temple, and sometimes at Church I really feel like people always judge me.  And that sucks!! Its very hard to attend Church after your heart gets hurt by the ones you trust within the Church.  A couple of years ago some things went down and I'm not going into all that in this blog(maybe at a later time), But, I became inactive.  Once you become inactive...it really is hard to get back into going....u know??  Its a BIG step to do it!!  Well, I missed Church, honest!!! So, back before I started my blog I began going back.  I was doing good too!!  I was participating in activities not just on Sunday.  And I really feel so good in my heart when I am in Church and I also know I shouldn't NOT go because of others but with my mental illness it just seems harder on me.  I do suffer from bipolar, social anxiety, adjustment disorder along with anxiety and many other things.  I did really good for about a month until my daughter moved in with my grandson and I had to adjust to all of the changes I was dealing with, so, guess what.....I withdrew from things. (that's just how I cope)  Church was one of them.

Before all of this happened I was taking a financial class(which I LOVED and my teacher as well).  And I specifically asked who my Home visiting teacher was because I have NEVER had one come or contact me the whole time I have been in my ward!!!!!!!! which is about 6 years now.  I know who my VT is, and I love her with all my heart, but, after the last time she came by(about 4 months ago) I haven't heard from her.  No phone call.....no email......no Facebook message......nothing???  And usually the missionaries come by and see how inactive members are and try to get them back into Church, yea.....its been a while on that too. 

 But last week I got a phone call.  Yes, it was someone from the Church, but they were calling to make sure I knew it was my Saturday to come in and clean the building.  I didn't have a ride and I'll be darned if someone (who I don't know) called me to let me know they would pick me up and everything!!!!!  And I really was going to do it but my carpel tunnel is really bad right now and I am in a splint until I can line up my surgery with an orthopedic.

OK, here is my thing.....and I really could use some feedback PLEASE.......Am I normal for feeling some type of way???  Is it normal that it breaks my heart that I "thought" I had real friends that cared about me????  If the Church really cared, why haven't they reached out to me other then to let me know its my turn to do something for them???? Am I wrong????  Is it just the adversary???  or my mental illness???

To those of you who are members, can you do me a favor???  Reach out to your converts!!  It is really hard to live this lifestyle without a support system!!!  If you have inactive members, call them!! send them a text!!! See how they are doing!!!!!  And people!!!! If you have a calling, such as VT or a Home teacher, do your callings!!! Aren't y'all supposed to be NOT making members feel like me??  How does the Church expect to get members and keep members if they act like they care in Church but outside of Church its like you don't even exist!!  That's really a good way to push people away from the Church!!! I promise ya!!!!!  I talk about going to Church every week!!!  And I still don't go because I feel like I am not even wanted there in the first place!

I am not trying to put my Church down, 

I am not trying to disrespect the Church.

I love my religion and all it stands for

It has made me a better person even if I am not perfect and I know my Heavenly Father still loves me no matter what!

I just wish some of these "members" would take a step back and look at themselves before judging others!!! As members of the Church we should be building each other up, not breaking each other down!!!!

I am sorry for the rant but It is really on my heart to seek advice and figure out what I need to do.  If your reading this, I am grateful for any help or suggestions.  I've been praying and my heart has really been hurting over this and I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance for any advice!!  And if you dont wanna comment......send me a quick little message there on the right side!!

Muahs & #stayblesse

maybe? just sometimes......

Good morning y'all!  I just wanted to let u know that I have a blog I am working on for #thankfulthursday, I am so sorry it hasn't been published yet, but, it's from the heart and I want to make sure it's completely done before I publish.  I don't do a ton of "spiritual" or "religious" post.....I know it is a touchy subject, but......sometimes, its what I need at the moment.  Ya know??  sometimes its just a good way for me to reflect and a good way for my relationship to grow between me and Heavenly Father.  BUT I also know the Spirit works through us in ways that it does help others while it's helping us!!  lol  Funny how everything has a purpose......wouldn't you say!!!??  It is a cold dreary day here in Ga and I am not sure if Ill have anything to do for a #subscriptionboxsaturday (unless my jamberrys come today, fingers crossed!) But, how about a #spiritualsaturday?

*disclaimer*  Anything I post religious, Please.......I don't claim I know everything, nor am I a scholar in any way.  I am not a preacher and I am not trying to convert u into my religion (unless u feel in ur heart that u want to learn more) wink wink.

I just wanna share some of the things I feel and go through as an individual, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, friend in my everyday life experiences and/or challenges.  Or to maybe look deeper into the mind of someone who deals with multiple mental illnesses on a daily basis?  Dont get me wrong!  This will NOT be my everyday posts!  Ill continue with my usual subscription boxes, beauty, deals, and my adorable grandson......but, once in awhile, maybe this??

Anyhoo, comment......let me know what y'all think!!  Are y'all even interested in it??  I love y'all!!  I'll have a finished post soon! Stay warm and stay blessed!!!!!

my cozy lil set up for my Saturday

Muahs!!!

I don't get it.........so much hatred????

*disclaimer* this is ,y personal opinion and thoughts! please, DO NOT judge others due to what I think!!!!!

I really just wanna blog my thoughts right now.....at this moment.  Sorry y'all, no beauty tips.....or unboxing right now. just me thinking and feeling like writing.

So, I wrote a blog earlier about going through hard times.....you know. how the adversary will mess with you and Heavenly Father will take care of you, you know......nothing to serious.  Well, I got a tweet from someone that was slightly rude.

I am Mormon(EEEEEKKKKKKK!!!  OH NO), I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints.  I am very proud of that!  I am proud of my religion and my beliefs! It really breaks my heart just how rude some people can be!!!!  I guess my thing is this, if you don't like what we believe, or don't believe what we believe, that's just fine and dandy!!!That is your right!! We have a thing called freedom of religion!!   So, you don't have to be ugly or rude about it.  I have plenty of friends that are baptist, Pentecostal, non believers, even Jehovah witnesses as friends!! And you know what we do????  We talk to each other!! I always share my beliefs..but...I would never try and make someone believe what I do.....Just share what I know. And pray for each of my friends.  I would NEVER tell someone they are going to hell for what they believe!!  (not my place)

Some people who are "Christians"  say some really hateful things.  I honestly don't believe that is how my savior acted while he was here on earth!!!  And I don't think it is any of our places to tell anyone they are going to hell!!! That is Heavenly Father's decision to make.  We do NOT know someones personal relationship with God!!  AND......people do sin, we ALL sin!!!! no one is perfect!  thankfully through the atonement I can be forgiven and so can u!!!

it is impossible to put into words the full meaning of the Atonement, which is the most important and most transcendent event in the history of the world. Through His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross, the Savior atoned for our sins. This is the good news for all people!
 to read more, go here


Don't most religions believe that Christ was sent here to die for our sins so we can be saved and have everlasting life!! (john 3:16) So, If I believe that as well as the baptist that lives across the street, what makes me bad?  Also, So many people bring up JS and polygamy......really y'all!!??  That was way back when!!  I don't have sister wives!!  Heck, I'm not even married!!  I also read last night that JS was a pedophile because he married 14 yr old girls!!  Come on y'all!!!  My grandparents were married that young!!  That's how things were back then!!  Just like my grandparents legit were married until death do they part!!  Not many people can say that now.  Divorce rate is at the highest!! Heck, people don't even take marriage so seriously anymore.  Times change......people change.  That doesn't mean every Mormon has multiple wives, we don't dance with snakes. I really think instead of all the hate and judgement, why not us all work together and reach out to people who have no idea who Christ or our Heavenly Father are! People who don't know the plan of salvation.....lets work together to bring people closer to Christ and our Heavenly Father!!  Not push people or scare people away!!  This world needs more love and humility, not hate and judgement!!  None of us are perfect and I know I will NEVER be!! BUT, I will strive to be the best person I can be!  And that includes loving everyone no matter their background, race, sexuality, or religion!!!

Religion and faith are things that people have to find, research, study, pray about on their own.  Its never forced on any of us.  Your gonna believe what you feel in your heart is right.

I'm really sorry y'all.  I guess I am a big hearted person who thinks all the hate should stop!! If you don't like our religion(or if you're prejudice to anything) .......then don't search up #Mormon.  I feel like that is what some people sit around and do!!  If your one of those people, I am sorry.  I may be Mormon, but, I am also a good hearted mom, daughter, and grandma who loves music, makeup, fashion, my family, my american bulldog. sometimes a cup of coffee( I am human), puts one heel on at a time, southern bell preachers daughter!!!!

so.......

Because in the end, what it all boils down to is respect!!!! If u want others to respect you you have to first give respect!!  Just something to think about!!!

Good Night!!!
Muahs!

#Manicmonday

Today is #manicmonday!! Hey y'all! How was your weekend? Mine was alright. My birthday went ok. Was with my kids and a couple of friends came by.  I also returned my laptop.😞 no, i didn't want to, but, it was the right decision. That was just a bunch of money spent on something i just don't have to have at the moment. I pray I'll be able to get it back soon, but, right now just wasn't the right time. That's just one of them things us mom's just have to do sometimes.  Ya know? And you know what, i am very proud of myself for being able to do that. With my bipolar, i used to not think of things and what will happen in the long run. I believe i have become so much better being responsible financially!!!! That was always the bad thing off being manic! Not being able to control my spending habits!! I am so thankful I'm getting stronger and able to control that more.

My son came up on weds and yesterday i had to drive him back home to Columbus!! This really is sad to me. I barely get to see him because of his football. I have to really appreciate the time i do get with him! I love my son and I'm beyond proud of him. He got to go to Atlanta this past week for the rising seniors bowl. He was the one player from his high school that was chosen. He told me it was a cool thing. They got to play football, had workshops on life after football and things to think about for collage and they painted pictures for the hospital!!

My baby is grown

Play ball

Learning

Working hard

As i was saying earlier, my bday was ok. I did get too spend it with the ones i love, and that's fine by me. We had spaghetti for dinner(my fave) and just chilled at the house. My 17 year old son used to always be rocked as a baby, so, i attempted to rock his big ole butt,  yea. That didn't work! Then ALL of my kids decided to see if i could hold em all!

Rocking my baby

Ion know why she grabbed his boobs lol

Ooommmmmmmmmmm

Then my friends shae and allyssa came by. I don't drink, but they do, and it was so funny watching my friend shae take like 30 mins to take a shot! Lol then we went and grabbed milkshakes right before midnight!

Then on Sunday, me and my lil squad loaded up to head to Columbus to take my son home. I hope i get too see him soon! 

So, what all did you do this weekend??

Muahs

Melissa aka maduke